It's raining out. Thunder and lightning.
I want to be safe in your arms once again.

It looks like Wedensday is the big day, the day I drag all my stuff down the stairs into my new room! I'm very excited, so tomorrow I'll do laundry and go through all of my stuff...throw out old stuff, gather stuff together in preparation for my move. This should be lots of fun. I'm really looking forward to this!

I've been quite spoiled lately and I've found that there's nothing more wonderful than waking up next to Bryan. I really didn't want to go to work this morning...I didn't really want to do much than to just be with him. Nothing else. No other plans. Just that. He's simply amazing...I wish I could articulate most of what I felt into words...without sounding really sappy and trite.

luckily, he's on his way home.

I hate you.

I hate that what you've done still manifests itself in my life.

and for some reason, that last post has crammed itself into one neat little package...

Everything happens for a reason.
Whether you realize it or not.
Things happen when you least expect them to.

Expect nothing.

That's what happened. I wasn't really looking for anyone. I had given up, again.I was going to date the DJ, but I knew that it wasn't right for me. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons, going with someone for the sake of going out. To get away from everything here. To get away from B. The more I talked with him, it became glaringly obvious that I'd be miserable. We had absolutely nothing in common. He might have been a fun person to hang out with, but I don't think that's what he was looking for. Besides. I fear risk. I fear most people. All I really wanted was some closure with B. Something to signify the end. I was tired of all the grey and our situation wasn't really healthy for me. The DJ would have driven me mad.

"I want to be where yaks can run free."

So I gave up, once again. I didn't really care. Go back into my coma. I wasn't about to do the "stupid-girl thing" and date someone for the sake of dating to gain free meals and other such parting gifts. For a split-second it seemed like a good idea, but it was so out of charatcter for me. There are other things I really want. Intangible things. Besides. People are so overrated.

"Where all your mounties can arrest me."

So, back to where I began. Everything happens for a reason. The twists and turns that life takes us. What seemed right eight years ago is laughable now. As trite as it may sound, but I have no time for useless people. I can't really explain myself out of this statement but based on all the experiences that I've had with people I've become a little more guarded against most people. I guess all I'm saying is that I wasn't really looking for the happiness that's found me and I fear that it'll all go away as quickly as it found me. There I go, being pessimistic again.

That's it!

I'm getting dressed and getting out!

"ce sont un homme qui j'appelle mon amour...il est le plus parfait personne dans le monde..."
(je regrette que mon francais est terrible!!!)

I think I have Thursday off!

woo.

There's something magical about Sunday mornings.

Sunday NY Times, a fresh french pressed cup of coffee, a few hours to relax before work.

Damn. I just want a day off and this is as close as I'm going to get for a few days!

Yes. I'm on day 12 in a row at the Patisserie. I know, I know. I'm whining. Ludo's paperwork has caused a foul-up in Frace causing him to have to stay a few more days, so I have to fill in a few more days as a dual Robin/Ludo shift-filling-person. The one salvation is that I'll have a housesitting job in a few days, putting me only a few more days closer to that day off and finally having my own room.

My own room! Like a big girl!

I haven't had my own space, really, since I lived in Wilton. Ummm...let's say...ohhh...five years now. I'm really looking forward to this. My domain to decorate and to hide in. A domain to set up my drawing table. A domain to set up my desk. A place to hide!!! This is going to be totally ace. It will also reduce a little of the stress in my life.

It's time to shower and get off to work. Well, at least I had a leisurely morning off.

"because the music that they constatly play
says nothing to me about my life..."

next to you.
that's where I want to be.

Ridgefield's a serene place at 3:30 a.m. No one is on the road. Country Corners apparently starts opening up at 3:30. Robin is tired.

Tonight was a good time.

Okay. I have a store on cafepress. I gave in.

http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store/store.aspx?storeid=inconsistent

You know, I'll be really surprised if ANYONE buys anything...I'm not expecting anyone to, but I thought it was damn funny when iw as putting it all together. I mean, really...boxer shorts? Yikes.

I'm not feeling very verbose this morning.

quand je pense que toi, je reve.

I'M HOME ALONE!
(and it feels so good.)

I haven't had any real good peaceful days lately. I had been avoiding this building, but I overcame my fears and had explained myself to Tiger. All is well once again. I can come home. I wish things were as peaceful with Brian. I have a feeling that he's going through a lot more than he lets on. All I want is to come home and have everything peaceful. In a month I'll be a little more free. I can do a month...I think.

"Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell."